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October 18, 2001 - 10:15 a.m.
In a dark, smokey pub, smelling of stale beer, a group of conspirators gather...a chubby fellow with wild hair stands up, and pulls his dark blue, almost black doublet down over his belly. He finishes his glass of stout, and in a loud voice, he begins to rant...
The time has come for us to end the tyranny. For years we have struggled to enjoy ourselves under the shadow of the college. Will we continue to languish under procedural complaints and mail filled with crap from people exiled for poor hygene and social skills? NEIN!!! Will we continue to worry that the great new idea will be stymied in a morass of procedural dung that seems constantly generated by the college? NEIN!!! Will we forever subject ourselves to their constant nit-picking? NEIN!!! Now is the time, now is the place! THE COLLEGE OF HERALDS MUST FALL!
Yes...you may have to touch one of them...but sacrifices must be made! We have our proxies ready...Grand Totem Herald Shane wil be the leader of the brave new world of heralds. Our first action... pass the grizzled old veteran's arms. Then we will bring out that device that most spooks out the heralds! THE DREADED DUNKING BOOTH! Yes indeed, phase two of the grand plan calls for each and every herald to somehow end up in the dunking booth. How is up to you. Got an extra-heavy duty catapult? FIRE! Want to stress test that trampoline...line it up and drop the herald on it...bioing (or more likely...SPLUT!).
Remember these key facts about heralds...they tend to stand together, so large rocks and anvils may be a key weapon. They also tend to be attracted by groups of people enjoying themselves, so that they can find a way to apply some obscure rule to disrupt the joy. Use this fact to lure them into a trap.
Never forget that these dark days can be ended. But it must be a concerted effort...when told you must register the design on your freshly manacured nails, say NEIN!!! (and then pimp slap the herald) When told that the King can not charter something called an 'Order' say NEIN!!!! When someone suggests that your ship must register it's name and flag...say NEIN!!!! Don't let them have the power.
A symbol! We must have a symbol for the revolution, so that the brothers and sisters may identify themselves to each other. We could make a sound of a dying giraffe, but that would be too obvious, and it would be too likely that it would be picked up by those that are anxious to be accepted...hmm....what shall we do...I know! The W00T sign! Make the devils-horns sign with your hand and place it on your forehead...then the brotherhood will know that you stand against the dread College of Heralds.
Go forth bretheren! Go forth and spread the call...the fall of the college is coming...and we shall be free!!!!!!!
With that a cheer goes up and the crowd rushes out the door, leaving the pub empty save for the frazzled loud bar monkey. He then wanders around, drinking everybodies beer until he passes out, and dreams of a world free of heralds.
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