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January 30, 2003 - 06:47

ATLANTIAN IDOL
TRANSCRIPT 00087


ANNOUNCER: OK, Welcome back to Atlantian Idol! This week we are in lovely Smeewick, in the Barony of Lochmere. People from all around the Kingdom have shown up to take a shot at glory! Who will be the next Atlantian Idol?

(Queue Atlantian Idol Theme-Chant)

ANNOUNCER: Let's meet our judges! First up is well known critic, Lord Kynnyth P...

(Queue Scene 1: Old celt bard in full regalia is on stage, looking eagerly towards the judges)

KYNNYTH: Oh, woad is me...

ANNOUNCER: Judge number 2 is well known bardic beauty, Countess MENG!

(Queue Scene 2: Young girl in 12th century elizabethan will aluminium foil corset has just finished singing, waits for the judges)

MENG: (MENG sits, blinking for a few moments, finally...) Well, isn't that nice!

ANNOUNCER: And finally, Medieval Music Mogul, Baron Bob.

(Queue Scene 3: Man in a bog dress concludes the grand finale of his "I'm Too Sexy" filk)

BOB: (Robert sits a moment pondering the singer. His face is serene, unperturbed by the disturbing performance. Finally he reaches under the desk, pulls out a black powder pistol and fires at the singer) NEXT!!!

ANNOUNCER: We'll see the good....

(Queue Scene 4: A woman in a simple T-Tunic finishes a soft, beautiful ode to her lover. Camera cuts to MENG, Kynny and Bob, each dabbing the corners of their eyes with handkerchiefs. MENG's handkerchief is leopard print)

ANNOUNCER: The bad...

(Queue Scene 5: A viking, a roman and the guy in the bog dress, now bandaged up some, try and reenact the "Camelot" scene from Holy Grail, off-key. The dancing is worse. Half way through the song, the camera sees Robert slowly reach under the desk...)

ANNOUNCER: and the UGLY!!!

(Queue Scene 6: On stage, a man dressed in green, with crossed gold trumpets on his shoulder sings a song regaling the glory of the Laurel Sovereign. Kynny jumps over the desk, Robert lunges to grab him but he misses him. The herald cries out as Kynny leaps from the platform, landing right on top of the singer. Stage hands rush to help, and pull Kynny off. The singer flees. Kynny returns to the platform and sits behind the desk)

KYNNYTH: Why did you try and stop me?

ROBERT: You got in my line of fire.

KYNNYTH: Oh, sorry man.

ANNOUNCER: All this and more on this weeks....ATLANTIAN IDOL!!!!!

(Queue Atlantian Idol Theme-Chant, fade out)

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