Sign My Guestbook!
March 12, 2003 - 07:50
This is shaping up to be the funniest war on record.
Fox News, who caters to the vast right wing conspiracy, with the occasional nod to Liberalism, runs their audio feed through XM Radio. I certainly recommend Hannity & Colmes for watching a guest first be beaten by the extreme (insert left or right here depending on whether they are a Conservative or some fruit cake from California) and then fawned over by the other side. Alan Colmes, reiging Liberal Democrat turns my stomach at times, but its good to reinforce my intense dislike for Liberalism from time to time, as well as at least hear what the other side's argument is.
But the best part of Fox News is the Fox & Friends morning show. They ensure that you get the news, but are still enteretained, lately almost entirely at the expense of either the French, or the British political system. An example:
"Going to war without the French is similar to going bear hunting without an accordion"
Attributed (incorrectly, I believe) to Norman Schwarzkopf.
So this morning on the way in, Fox News was watching some proceedings in the House of Commons. Apparently it was beat on the Prime Minister day, with one Commoner (I don't know what they are called) after another taking shots at Tony Blair. So in listening to all this, I learned something this morning. Dude, Tony Blair is a funny guy.
It is unfortunately the kind of thing that is difficult to explain, but I'll give it a shot. There is apparently a doctrine in the UK where when a cabinet member speaks, they are speaking for the government, at all times. One of Tony Blair's cabinet members had described the war as risky and reckless. He fended off a line of questioning as to whether or not he would fire the cabinet member. The very next question involved a memo from the mid 90s in which a number of Republicans, including Donald Rumsfeld, are writing to Clinton demanding that he take military action against Iraq. The Commoner in question disliked the fact that in the letter there was no mention of human rights or disarming, simply war. Tony Blairs response, roughly, was:
"I have stated on many occasions that I can not be held responsible for or justify every statement from every government in the world, indeed, given the previous line of questioning, I can not even justify statements made by my own government."
I giggled like an idiot listening to this. If you haven't ever seen the House of Commons in full swing, it's much akin to a Jerry Springer show. One poor bastard tries to talk and then entire place is making the most incredible range of noises. Hissing, booing, w00ting, here hereing and just generally being rowdy as hell. I have no idea how all the old fogeys in the House of Lords get any sleep at all.
OK, from here down, I'm pretty fast and loose with the F-Bomb. Therefore, if you're offended by it, just run with what I've posted so far and have a good day. But if you stop now, you'll miss me trying to swear in french using an online french dictionary. I'm just saying...
Meanwhile, while the House of Commons is sticking it to Tony Blair, the House of Representatives, in a bold display of political will, has renamed French Fries to Freedom Fries in their cafeteria. As is so often the case, I feel they haven't gone far enough. While it is patriotic to change the name from Fench to Freedom, I feel that it would much more accurately reflect the mood of the country if they simply renamed them "Fuck the French" fries.
If I weren't on a diet, I'd be at the McDonalds drive through every single day, making sure to get a big ol' supersized extra-value meal special sauce,lettuce, onions, two all-beef patties and fuck the French fries.
Sure it's a little coarser than "cheese-eating surrender monkeys". But even though all things being equal I will almost always use a phrase with the word monkeys in it, I just feel that it is a more accurate and correct use of the American vernacular to simply say, Fuck the French.
So instead of "Vive la France", let's just go for "Baise la France de merde". Which, without any training in French, is my attempt at saying "fuck the fucking french".
Pass the fries.
Kynny
�
�