April 20, 2004 - 15:00

It could be said that any song that opens with "...and the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert..." only has two ways to go. It could launch into a powerful, soul moving celebration of the power of alcohol to cure all ills. But of course Johnny Cash instead takes the other road, and lays the story of a wasted, empty life on top of an oddly upbeat musical backdrop.

It was this song that my internal soundtrack cued up Monday evening, as I left my cubical habitat behind me and headed for the smaller but more welcoming space of my Jeep Cherokee. I had just had a rare, oddly human moment with my boss, in which I admited that the picture of my beautiful 5 month old boy that sat on my desk made me feel guilty when I worked late.

He started the wise old corporate sage, and let me know that that was exactly the reason that he didn't have pictures of his family in his office. Then, in a quieter voice, as we both gazed out from the 10th floor, he related an email he got from his wife recently.

He had just gotten a promotion, and dropped his wife an email letting her know. Her reply was to ask if that meant she got to see him more often. He chuckled and said he replied that she should email his secretary.

Before I even knew it was there, the moment was gone. My boss mumbled something about not knowing why he brought that up. He wandered back to his office, and I stood in the mixed light of a setting sun and the fluorescent overheads, trying to figure out what had just happened.

That night as I held my son, I made sure he got all the hugs he would put up with, and it still didn't fill the odd hole that had appeared in my chest. I still don't get out early, but I spend a lot of time looking at the pictures around my cube. They are simple, two dimensional images of my son, my wife and my friends. They aren�t real, but sometimes, 2 dimensions is all you get. -- Kynny

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