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2002-03-19 - 10:23 a.m.

Antipathy Monkey

Who gives a shit.

Right now, I am in high antipathy mode. How's work, don't care. What are you doing tonight, don't care. Don't get me wrong, I can pretend to care. Hey, fighter practice tonight. "All right! Let's go kill people...woohoo!!!" But in reality, I could sit at home and play guitar, or Playstation, or violin, or surf porn, or play with the weights, or whatever. I just don't care.

It's kinda weird...I had a 2 hour drive home last Friday. Whatever. Sure, I said "That sucked ass", but I didn't really care. In a way it's a defence mechanism...hey, you worked your ass off, and you'll work this weekend, and you've been in early out late, how does that make you feel? Who cares?

Whatever. Another good one, Boss: "Hey, can you work this weekend" [Translation: "Hey, you're working this weekend!"] Me: "Whatever" [Translation: "Whatever"].

Now, on a slight plus side, I am somewhat ammused by the Roguereviews diaryland site. This thing goes and grades your diaryland based on writing, diary design, commitment, error rate. It's the evil side of me that really, really thinks this could go bad. For example... suppose roguereviews heads over to.... http://alone-scared.diaryland.com/index.html. Then they slam this guy...now he's alone-scared, depressed and his one haven has been assaulted by a bunch of bastards. Happy thoughts :)

I think tonight I'll try to kill people in a fairly cold blooded way. That would be fun. Hi John...let's fight! Hi Mark...let's fight! Hi Alan...ACK ACK ACK OW OW ACK OW....where's John? I'm just feeling like a little brutality, just for the sake of it, might make me feel better. The thought is encourageing. Of course sacrificing myself on the altar of Roland, T-Bone or Alan might jolt me out of it too.

For those wondering, this happens every now and then, I think it is just MonkeyPMS. I'll be moody, and stand offish, a little mopey, but I come out of it in a week or two. There isn't anything particullarly wrong, I'm just bleh. I've gotten better at getting by, but I just don't give a shit right now.

Oh well...how is that different than any other time? Hey, I got an idea, maybe if I try and get fired up about something....let's try it....

FUCK HERALDS!!!!

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Nope, it just isn't happening this week. Rest easy Pedro, no fat guy in a ninja outfit will show up in your stinky-little pile of crap Heraldic Sanctum.

Oh well...

Blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...

i'm out

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