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April 08, 2003 - 10:03
*** TRANSCRIPT, SCADIAN BROCASTING SERVICE (SCABS)***
(Man, beautiful 14th century garb, approaches podium)
Erik: I am Erik the Speaker, and I am the Information Minister for the SCA. I am here today to take your questions, but I will start with a prepared statement.
The SCA Board of Directors has sanctioned Atlantia for its unwarranted and criminal invasion of the Mundane land known as California. This is an overt act of international terrorism, and we call upon the UN to denounce the actions of Atlantia. However, I assure the citizens of the West that we are mounting a valiant and effective defense, and there are no Atlantians within the borders of the Caid or the West. I will now take your questions.
!!!!! ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE !!!!!
Blitzer: Mr Speaker, I'm Wolf Blitzer, CNN News, how do you react to reports that regiments of Atlantian troops have already seized Hawaii and Las Vegas, and are indeed already in California.
Erik: Wolf, that is ridiculous. I have already told you there are no Atlantian troops anywhere in California. The noble members of the SCA have come to the Boards defense, and have repelled the evil invading armies of Atlantia.
!!!!! ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE !!!!!
Helen: Helen Thomas, White House press corps...
Erik: Are you lost?
Helen: No, but Ari Fleicher slipped me a 20 to get out of his hair. Anyways, what do you have to say to reports that a pack of Kindergartners could whip the Elite SCAdian Guard?
Erik: The citizens of the SCA, who love their Board of Directors, have always come to its defense. Indeed I've never heard a bad word spoken of the board until the Atlantians got all spun up about something. Anyways, our Elite SCAdian Guard are filled with loyal subjects who will gladly lay down their life for the board.
!!!!! ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE !!!!!
Peter: Peter Arnett here, free lance journalist. I love the Board, and would gladly lick your boots right now. But before I do, is it true that Atlantian Special Forces are already in Milpitas?
Erik: This is a blatent lie, there are not now, nor have their ever been any agents of the imperialist Atlantian army in Milpitas. The people of Milpitas would die rather than allow an Atlantian in.
(In the background, the Herald King runs by, clutching his crown to his head, close behind a figure in black Elizabethan gives chases).
!!!!! ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE !!!!!
Helen: What was that?
Erik: Nothing.
Wolf: Do we have to watch him lick your boots?
Erik: STOP THAT! (Kicks Peter in the head)
Peter: Oh thank you Master!
!!!!! ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE !!!!!
Erik: OK, that is the end of this press conference. I will....
(Door busts in...flashes of blue and white are seen, but the picture dies...)
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